5:30 Sweets

I met "5:30 Sweets" at a restaurant in Wisconsin. I was there with one of my girlfriends drinking the biggest long island I'd ever seen. They were delicious and apparently strong because before you knew it the two boys hollering at us from their car were sitting at the table with us. I vaguely remember how this happened.

Boys: "HEYYYY!"
Us: "Hey!"
Me to Kelly: "They're cute...right?"
Kelly to Me: "Yeah! Oh wait, he's driving a Honda, nevermind"

Somehow they made their way to our table and sat down to chat. "5:30 Sweets" was the cuter of the two so Kelly had to take the grenade this time. While Kelly's boy chatted about his FBI job and how his parents are rich with a boat, I chatted with "5:30 Sweets" and somehow ended up planning a date for the following Saturday.

What happened the following days is beyond comprehension. "5:30 Sweets" as it turns out has a little bit of OTD or Obsessive Texting Disorder. Now, I like texting as much as the next person, but I have a phone as old as a dinosaur so for every word I'm pounding the keys like 20 times. Not to mention that after a few texts I feel like you should just call the person and have an actual conversation. But no, "5:30 Sweets" never figured this out. He texted me ALL DAY about nonsense. And around 7pm he texted the inevitable "Are you on Facebook?" This is how the conversation went.

5:30: "Are you on Facebook"
Me: "Yes, search under ___"
5:30: "I can't find you"
Me: "Ok, try my email at ___"
5:30: "I still can't find you"
Me (severely annoyed): "Ok, well when you do I'll accept your friend request"
5:30: "Whoa Whoa Whoa Sweets, I never said I would friend you!!"

WTF. Seriously....WTF?? At this point I stopped responding all together.
I woke up the next morning to two texts on my phone.

(at 5:30am): Are you mad??
(at 7:30am): Are you mad??

Needless to say I never went on that date.